Laugh Today if You'll Laugh about it Tomorrow...

Now this is some good advice. This is good advice that I need after a 5 minute trip to the grocery to pick up my husband's birthday cake. How hard can it be to dash into a store, grab a cake, some ice cream and tonic water and dash back out? How hard is that when you have two 12 year old's in tow to carry the load?



Oh my, Oh my. Plenty difficult.



Kid: I want these chocolate donuts.

Me: No

Kid: I get hungry at school because I don't have chocolate donuts for breakfast.

Me: You get hungry because you won't eat anything but applesauce for breakfast.

Kid: Cereal is boring and its hard to fix.

Me: Are you kidding me? No donuts.



Thirty seconds pass...



Kid: I want this crab dip.

Me: No, you don't need crab dip. You'll ruin dinner.

Kid: You never let me get what I want you like that other kid better.

Me: Right now, perhaps, because he's quiet. I'll buy you the crab dip the next time people come for dinner.

Kid: You hate me.



Thirty seconds pass...



Kid: I need Little Debbie Snak Cakes.

Me: No.



This continued in a variety of formats and themes the entire time we were in the store. I waited until the car to blow my gasket.



Me: YOU TWO ARE HORRIBLE AND AWFUL INGRATES WHEN YOU ARE IN THE GROCERY STORE. YOU WERE BETTER IN THE STORE WHEN YOU WERE TWO. Of course I never took you to stores and NOW I KNOW WHY. STOP ACTING LIKE URCHINS!



Kid: Geez Mom.



Two minutes pass... pulling into the driveway...



Me: Please get out and get the mail.
Kid: Only if HE (gesturing at the other kid) gets my stuff and brings it in.
Me: Are you joking? You have a book and a toothbrush from the dentist. Carry it! NOW!
Kid: What? I have to carry my jacket, a book, a toothbrush and the mail? YOU HATE ME.



Do I? Too busy laughing to think about it, actually.