I'd like to see a few of these...
Boy Picks Up Laundry, Cites Mom for Inspiration
Boy Does Homework Without Complaining! Mom Needs Immediate Resuscitation!
Boy Eats Leafy Greens- Says "Yummy!"
DuPont Introduces Self Cleaning White Carpet!
Ten Martinis a Week Recommended by Physicians
Vodka Industry Needs Help- Perrysburg Mom Fills Glass
Self Correcting Cameras Shave 15 Pounds from anyone over 35
Boss Says "Yes, You May Dance at the Office on Fridays!"
Human Body Temperature Corrected! It's 96.7!
Levi's Declares All Adolescent Boys Get Free Jeans Until Age 18!
Sock Company Invents Impervious, Magnetic Pairing, Sock!
Blogger Requests No More Use of Exclamation Points!
Backyard Tomato Plants Sprout Cash!
Your Mom Was Wrong! Your Life WILL be EASY!
If You Have Checks Left, Bank says "You still have money!"
Television and Lucky Charms Will Make You Smart!
Perrysburg Mom Has Nickel for Every time Kid Says "You're Mean!" She's RICHER Than OPRAH!
Chef Boyardee Newest Iron Chef!
Mom Says "I Hope You Have One Just Like You!" and It Comes True, Twice!