Thursday, February 2, 2012

We're Having a Fight

We argue about absolutely everything in our house. The inmates and the management have a series of disagreements as noted below. Management (italicized)

Types of mustard? Dijon? You're a fool.
Politics? Andrew ripped up the note left by a conservative city council member in our front door. I don't like this person. Honestly, it's City Council and they're not trying to put a colony on the moon populated by outcast Perrybsurg residents. On the upside, I have convinced Andrew that Mitt is short for "Mittens."
The Drinking Age? This is a big deal. It's 21, maybe it should be 18. (Um, no, it's not). In Belgium it's 14, are you going to stop me from drinking in Belgium. Um, ya.Or you can drink and then try to get up at 6am to go through a Flemish art exhibit. Your choice.
Laundry There is not a vortex around the laundry basket. Yes there is. No, there's not- you're just a lazy slob. Maybe my arms are broken. Don't you feel sorry for me?
Clean Clothes. Fold your clothes. I washed them, you fold. What? Am I your slave? As a matter of fact, yes, yes you are.
Homework Is it done? Of course, it's mostly done. Mostly done doesn't count. Yes it does, I'll do it later. Why do it later if you can do it now?What if there's an asteroid? As if.
On Leaving early I don't need to leave now. You're evil.  Yes, I'm evil, you need to be early. Being early is for nerds. Are you kidding me? I'm never late. If you're on time, you're late. So leave early. No, I can't be seen early. What?
The couch You're taking up 2/3 of the couch. So what, I'm 6 foot 4.  I don't care, I bought the couch. Move over. No, I can't fit there. Then sit on the floor. That's abuse. So be it.


Cheri Holdridge said...

The management at our house is laughing out loud as we read your blog. Ah, parenthood!

Anonymous said...

Management here is dealing with a 13 year-old son. Today he asked if chicken nuggets counted as fish. I asked him what he thought. He said Yes. I said NO. He said Ok!!!!!!
Same kid who came downstairs the other night carrying a book he's been carrying around. "When is that book due?" "Thursday, if I want credit." If you want credit?!? No XBox, no laptop, no electronics until the book is done.

Jacana said...

I have three boys and I very much related to this post- thanks for sharing and for the giggles and smiles you put on my face

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