Scout Spy

I should have been a spy.

I could take off in my top secret spy plane and take my own pictures of A&P no matter where they are. You shouldn't be able to hide from your Mom.

The picture above is from the BSA Jamboree website. This aerial shot is A&P's sub camp- or so I'm told.

When A&P were little I performed various covert operations like stalking the school bus and hiding on the play ground dressed up like pieces of playground equipment (I don't recommend dressing up like tether ball.)

The first day of school I was reprimanded by the bus driver for rip tearing through town, chasing the bus. I made the mistake of pulling up next to the bus at a stoplight. The door on the bus whooshed open in the way they do with that air noise and a squeak and the driver looked down her nose at me in disgust. "Go to work," she commanded. "They're fine!"  Whatever, they're only really fine, if I know they're fine with my own two eyes, sister, and you have to go over 3 different sets of railroad tracks. How do I know you don't have a bum eye and impaired hearing that prevents you from identifying a speeding train?

I guess I've gotten over that, sort of (hence the sedatives) but I wish I had a spy plane. A better plan would be to dress as a shrub and work my way around Fort AP Hill a stand of trees at a time. There's only 75,000 acres, who would possible notice the same piece of shrubbery?

The next best plan would be to get in the car and drive 12 hours to Virginia and find A&P on that 75,000 acres and make sure they're OK with my own two eyes.

Good idea.

I leave tomorrow.

Summer Squash

A&P were about the size of a summer squash when they were born- together. Separately, probably the size of a couple of large sweet potatoes.

Then they got big. So big, I can't really compare them to food anymore.

Big enough that they could pack their stuff into over sized bags and go away on a bus for two weeks.

Eeek. I need a moment.

OK, I'm back.

Then, it's off on their adventure, see ya, thanks for the memories, can I have some more cash, later gator, outa here, ta-ta, TTFN, blow a kiss, gone Daddy gone. Gone.

I need a moment. And a sedative.

OK, I'm back.

Here's the link for you grandparent types that might want to know where A&P are spending the next 10 days. They're in Subcamp 13 (Ohio and West Virginia), Troop 1324 to be exact.

So there's the story. They were born the size of a squash, they got big and then they stepped on a bus and went away to the 100th Anniversary Boy Scout Jamboree. I'm just positively speechless.
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I would like to point out that in every single picture, Andrew is on the left!

Suite!

I got an email on Wednesday, while zipping to a meeting out of town, offering us tickets to the Detroit Tigers game on Thursday. Turns out the tickets were in a Suite a little to the third base side of home plate at Comerica Park in Detroit. A&P thought they had gone to heaven as we surprised them when we picked them up from a week up at Lake Huron. The tickets even included a parking pass and a special entrance so we were parked about a dozen yards from the gate. Wow. And, the suite had its own bathroom. Besides the view, this held the biggest fascination and why wouldn't it?

My only problem here is that Andrew is not on the left. No one listens to me anymore. Seriously people.

Sunday A&P will head off the the Boy Scout Jamboree at Fort AP Hill in Virginia for the better part of two weeks. Here are their smiling faces before camp a few weeks ago. This is when their clothes were clean, their teeth were brushed and they weren't covered with mosquito bites. Andrew is on the left here. Can you see the height difference? We're baffled because Andrew actually eats. Peter seems to live mostly on Oatmeal Creme pies.

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My new Bible finally showed up. Thanks US Postal Service for rushing it out to me in 14 days. What if I was really having a crisis? I guess the 4th grade Bible would have had to do.  I got sucked into Proverbs 31 this week. I'm not sure who this lady is, but whoa, I'm feeling rather inadequate.

I did manage to paint this desk though. A few folks might recognize it as the Muncie desk that ended up in my house a few years ago. I decided to paint it red. Take that Proverbs 31 lady.

Double Stinky Socks

A&P are home from Boy Scout Camp. Can you smell them from there? I think I may have discovered a new bacterium, or 12, in the pile of macerated socks. So much for paying extra for stink guard socks. What a scam.

Those boys make me swoon. (Camp is actually over tomorrow, but they got sprung a few hours early so we can set them off of their next adventure tomorrow morning, but that's another story. I have perfected the art of arranging activities for children that keep them entertained for weeks at a time. I should get paid to do this for rock stars.)  Anyway, back to the swooning...

They have arranged for themselves to have their conference in a few weeks to become Life Scouts. With that, we're one step (and a whole lot of work) from their Eagle. No matter how bright my brother's kids are, surely I'll have done something right to turn out a pair of Eagle Scouts. (Insert humility here).

Here's the best part though- I know they had a good week because they talked the whole way home about camp being the best week ever. They hardly complained about the food they had such a great time. Here's the thing about Boy Scouts, when you can spend your week lighting fires, rolling in the dirt and practicing a tourniquet- what could be better than that?

A maid to wash the socks...
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We're heading into another week without the boys and it's hard to know what project to tackle first. I'm working my way through the Book of Ruth, line by line. I've gotten so fascinated by the detail and the history that I ordered myself the Oxford Annotated Bible. I can hardly wait to dig into it if only Amazon would hurry it up and make my delivery.

So very blessed on this Friday evening. I hope you are in a good place and I'm sending you a hug and a kiss, just in case you need it. Feel better?

Home Alone Again

I called home around noon today.

Andrew: This is Buddy the Elf! What's your favorite color?
Me: Oh Golly, did you eat sugar cereal for breakfast?
Andrew: Mine's yellow, what's yours?
Me: Is your brother alive?
Andrew: Haven't seen him.
Me: Go check, I'll call you later.

It's calls like this that make me find articles online about kids left home alone sniffing glue and shampooing the cat.

Yesterday when I called, Peter answered.

Me: Hey, did you eat? (If I don't ask them to eat, they'll only eat Oatmeal Cream Pies and Fritos making their starvation my fault because I didn't tell them to eat. Seriously, I have nothing better to do than call home and remind you to eat something that isn't shrink wrapped in clear plastic).
Peter: Just getting ready to heat up some chicken nuggets.
Me: Oh no..I left you money. Just go get a quart sized ice cream from Mr Freeze. That doesn't involve vulcanizing your victuals and you can ride your bike.
Peter: Good idea.

It's calls like this that make me question my parenting skills, but least I won't spend the evening blowing out the smoke and vacuuming ashes.

On the upside, I had a Heloise moment when I rubbed the charred chicken part marks off of my good white plates with baking soda. Yep, good old fashioned working mom, stay at home destructive kid, ingenuity.

They leave for camp on Sunday. It's in exactly 60 hours. Actually 60 hours and 45 minutes. I can make it.

Home Alone

My phone rang around 1:00 on Friday...

Me: What, I'm busy!
Tim: They almost burned the house down.
Me: Seriously?
Tim: Our boys need remedial cooking assistance.
Me: Huh- you can so totally teach them.
Tim: They're beyond help.

Apparently Peter decided to make some chicken nuggets in the microwave. As any good Scout would, he read the package- and then put two plates in the microwave for TWENTY-ONE MINUTES.

Tim: Peter- is the microwave in flames?
Peter: No. But the nuggets are black.
Tim: Get the package and read it to me.
Peter: Cook 6 nuggets for Twenty-one slash 2 minutes.
Tim: How long have you been out of school? Twenty one slash two? Look at it again!
Peter: What, wait, Oh, two and a half. I'm an idiot.

The black charred spots came off of my white plates with baking soda.

The house smells like it was only burning for a short while.

Our microwave is original to the house, circa 1985. I think there was a brown out in Perrysburg around 12:30 on Friday. My electric bill probably doubled for the twenty-one minute nugget cremation ceremony.

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This is going to be a good week. A&P are at sailing camp during the day on Lake Erie. They love it and enjoy a spectacular capsizing as much as the next sailor. And, I got invited to a Bible study. It takes a brave person to invite another person to a Bible study. What an awesome friend. I love her very much. I guess I'll actually have to study.

I need to study because I'm not good at quoting or remembering things I should remember. I tried to quote a week or so ago, while dissing a coworker about having to walk by the ladies of ill-repute behind our office building. There's something profound about what you do for the least, you do for me- as in Jesus. But it came out something like- "Don't diss the hoes, they could be Jesus." That didn't have the impact I was looking for.

May you have a week full of love and thankfulness for being able to read the freezer packages to microwave your chicken nuggets.

That Tornado and My Home Ec Teacher can kiss my big fat...

Curtain. They can kiss my big ol' curtain.



First the Tornado. I don't have any pictures of that- would you really want them?



Around 11pm last Saturday night we were somehow spared- not even a twig out of place- but 5 miles east of us is in bad shape. The high school is destroyed. The police station is flattened. They have no school buses and no police cars. Five people are dead. A mom and her little boy were sucked right out of their beds, their house flattened. The neighbors found them in the yard. The dad and a daughter somehow survived.



A&P were at camp about 60 miles west of here. They evacuated to the showers and were well taken care of, but we couldn't help remembering the Scouts killed in Iowa 3 or 4 years ago. We are so lucky, so blessed.



Onto to something less horrendous, aren't you loving that curtain? I made that. With some help from my fabulous friend of course. I haven't sewed since 7th grade and then one day a month back a light went on in my ever misfiring skull "you should buy a sewing machine." What the heck, it's better than starting a crack habit or beating my kids.


Then I got brave and I made this one for Andrew's room. All by myself. My home ec teacher thought I was a disaster. I may be a disaster, but I can plug in a machine. This one for Andrew is made out of fabric that has the Pledge of Allegiance printed on it. The blue is stars. Andrew said "Is this just for the 4th of July and you're making another one?" Don't push it buster.



I have to tell you though, I am a big mess. My dining room is not suitable for eating. I spilled the same box of 500 pins- twice. Several dozen got stuck in my feet. I got another set of teeny tiny pins and I promptly dropped those all over the floor twice. The cat keeps running off with my bobbin thread thing-a-ma-bobbers.



Do you know how hard it is to drink and sew at the same time? Take it from me, you have to be really, really careful not to spill.




Lastly, because I am starting to ramble and the blogger gods nearly made this entire post disappear which would have been tragic, we went to the Indy 500. We surprised A&P and went to the race with family that knows how to manage a giant track with whizzing cars. Fun had by all.

Here's hoping that the 50 or so families that lost their houses pretty darned close to here can draw upon the good times to pull through. All I had to do was pick up about 4000 straight pins and pick the other 100 out of my toes. I know where my birth certificate is and I have a roof. If you think of it, donate to The Red Cross or something- they help people just like them.