For those of you that worry, I'm not dead. Passing out last week didn't slow me down much. It did curb my martini drinking for a few days, but a large school project with a particularly difficult child cured that.
I was away on a trip the last few days. Not far away, but far enough. The conference sessions were generally good and I only obsessively checked my Blackberry every 4-6 minutes- for an entire day.
After a fairly complicated session on Health Care Reform (don't even get me started), I asked a question of the presenter. I went up to her afterwards because I didn't want to sound stupid by misusing words like "Reconciliation" or "Correction." (Oh, there's so much stupid stuff about these two words lately, surely I wouldn't sound as dumb as at least half of the people on TV, regardless of their political affiliation!)
So I asked my question. It was answered in a way that did not make me feel dumber than normal and I started back to my seat to gather my stuff. A well dressed man approached me slowly. Weird. It's usually only the smelly drunk ones that approach me slowly.
"Hello, " he said.
"Hey." (That's my standard greeting. Informal, it's more fun and not suggestive in case the guy is a serial killer.)
"I've been staring at you across the room the entire session."
"Um, what?" (Now I'm creeped out and ticked off. Do serial killers stare at people across rooms?)
"Did you work at Red Lobster?" he asked warily.
"WHAT?" I laughed out loud, right in his face.
"You look like someone I used to know from Red Lobster."
"No. I have never worked at Red Lobster. However, I do like lobster."
"Oh, " he sighed. "I worked all through college at Red Lobster and there was a girl. You look just like her. Sorry I bothered you."
"OK, no problem. I would be a lousy waitress so I can definitively tell you that I am not your girl."
People are so strange. Maybe he can find her on Facebook.