When is Halftime?

My Christmas present from A&P was symphony tickets. However, the kicker was that they had to come along. Peter has been complaining for a week.

Last night's performance was spectacular and joyous and perfect for a cold winter's night. Before I lose you and you think that I've gotten soft on you, I should regale you with my companions actions during the evening. I was seriously afraid that we would witness Peter completely pop a cork.

We survived to intermission without incident. (A&P called it "half time.") I said "Watch the first violinist all the way in the back by the door- the guy with the long, puffy hair." I've never been able to figure this guy out. Over the years of attending the symphony, he's always there and he's always completely clueless. Not only are his bowings completely opposite from everyone else, he uses about 3 inches of his bow and looks like he's a seat warmer. I don't get it because this is a symphony where people get paid.

So, with A&P playing cello and violin respectively over the last few years, I figured they would appreciate the vision of the violin slacker. We were off to the races with a series of nearly silent giggles and snorts. Once that starts, everything else is riotously funny- the old guy who can't stop clearing his throat right in front of us. OK, not that funny, but the other old guy two people away who physically turns and scowls at the choking old guy every time he coughs? Super hilarious.

The soloist with the high forehead and a penchant for ridiculous faces? When you're nearly 13, it doesn't get any funnier than that. We were a mess of stifled laughter. I couldn't look at them. Peter was biting through his lip. This went on for 45 minutes.

I don't have bladder control issues, but I did last night.

As soon as it was over? We kept ourselves in pretty decent shape until exiting the concert hall (Arena, as per A&P) and stumbled across the loud wife of the trumpet player inviting family back to her house for pizza. "What kind of pizza will you eat?" Peter says loud enough for the loud wife to hear, "Pepperoni!" Andrew adds "Get some sausage and we'll be there in 15 minutes!" We crumbled. We were a mess. We burst into the night air like yelping seals.

Then, to top it all off, you know what we saw on the way home? A very nice house on Front Street in our town has the leg lamp from "Christmas Story" in the living room window. Peter said, "I thought this was going to be terrible, but this was the best night EVER."

Merry Christmas indeed.