I don't mean to brag, but I find myself rather amusing. Hilarious, actually. It was one lunch hour last week that I decided that conversational phrases in a supposedly dead language would lilt me through my afternoon. This dalliance into dead linguistics has kept me amused for several days now. It's just too fun not to share.
Have I ever told you how smart my husband is? He's one of those people that knows way too much stuff and will kick your butt at Trivial Pursuit even if he's in a coma or beer induced stupor. Believe me, I've tried (the beer, not the coma, that's a little cruel don't you think?) Anyway, Mr Smartypants took Latin. I did not. I'm jealous. I want to be smart and be able to use e pluribus unum in business meetings. How handy is that? I bet people would run from my conference room and never come back. Something to think about, don't you think?
But, I needed more than a run of the mill phrase like e pluribus unum. Yea, I'm ready to spout "how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood." Take that! (It's
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? Just in case you needed to know that. And why wouldn't you?
How about...Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est (Yes, that is a very large amount of corn.) Useless? No! The county fair? Your local grain silo where Roman immigrants have congregated?
Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem (Stand aside, little people! I am here on official business.) Do I even need to tell you how to use this? Everything said in Latin sounds more important. Try it next time you're in the back of the line at the bank- sure shootin' you'll be up in front before you know it (or on your butt in the parking lot).
Here's a good one. You're at a cocktail party and you don't want to sound rude so you say...Re vera, potas bene (Say, you sure are drinking a lot.) Instead of being thrown out on your ear, your friend thanks you for your thoughtfulness and immediately hands over the keys. Beautiful, it's almost like Oprah.
And now, for my personal favorites. Are you ready? I don't think they need any explanation...
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Unless you give me all of your money, I will fling an enormous rock at your head. (This gives me such admiration for the Romans!)
Certe, toto, sentio nos in kansate non iam adesse (You know Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.)
Now what will keep me from losing my mind this week?