Camp Frozentoesen

This weekend-past, A&P ventured out to their rescheduled Camp Alaska. If you're not sure what this is, or its negative impact on my psyche, you may want to refer to this wacked out post from the last time this trip was scheduled.

Alas, that trip was canceled due to horribly inclement weather. You can read about my nervous breakdown this caused by referring to this equally wacked out post.

The Scouts are a tenacious lot. They rescheduled their trip of pure folly and A&P prepared with gusto. I took a different, calmer approach. I appealed to the happier, less crazed side of my brain to find inner peace despite the Shackleton-esque similarities of their adventure.

Andrew commented on my calm. "What's wrong with you?"

"Huh?"

He pried, "Are you really OK with this or are you just being sarcastic?"

"I'm fine. Really."

"Who are you and what have you done with my Mother?"

After assuring him that I was in my happy place and I had not been kidnapped by aliens or roving bands of gypsies, we threw them out in the snow. As we waited for the Donner Party to leave, Peter confessed, "I have no idea how to make Ramen Noodles."

"Oh, then today is the day you find out! Just a hint, they shouldn't be crunchy."

As usual our local weather people were completely wrong and I had every reason to be an insane, institutionalized lunatic (non-toxic markers, rubber room and funny jacket with arms that tie together in the back crazy.) Grand Rapids, Ohio dropped to a frosty negative 1 on Friday night. I did not sleep a wink.

Saturday morning the phone never rang to tell me to meet the Med Evac helicopter at the trauma center so I relaxed a bit. Early Saturday evening, however, my sense of calm was shattered by a call:

"Hello Mom? It's Peter."

"OH MY GOD! YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"Um, yes. It was negative 1 last night. I get an extra badge for that!"

"OH MY GOD! YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"Um, yes, but my toes froze together. I had ice crystals on my feet and everything."

"OH MY GOD! ARE YOUR TOES BLACK?"

"Um, no. I put my feet in the fire and they're OK. See you tomorrow!"

"OH MY GOD! WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER?"

"Hi Mom, it's Andrew. I'm fine and none of my parts froze. Hey, one of the boys named Leonard can write his whole name with pee in the snow. Cool, huh? See you tomorrow!"

We gathered them up on Sunday morning. They emerged from the van with wide smiles and a sheen of sweat, snow and campfire smoke. They were the cutest, loveliest children I had ever seen.