Sunday, March 29, 2009

Trying On Short Pants

Overheard at JCPenney...

Me: You need shorts for Spring Break.

Kid: OK. (Rustling through display table) These are fine. (picking up acceptable shorts, but 8 sizes too small.)

Me: Let's try them on. I have no idea what size you are. (Because you're as tall as me and have a 28 inch waist and your pants fall down all the time.)

Kid: No. I don't try things on. These are fine.

Me: (More Emphatically) No. You need to try them on.

Kid: (Indignantly)No. I won't try them on. If they don't fit, you can just return them.

Me: (Turning red, escalating blood pressure, pounding temples.) I don't have time to return things. We are standing in a store, with a dressing room and you will try these on NOW.

Kid: (Grumble, complain, spitting while talking). Fine, give it. (Stomps into dressing room, slams door.)

Me: Hey, I need to see them after you get them on.

Kid: Whatever.

Time passes..... More time passes....

Me: What are you doing?

Kid: Nothing (throws open door). They fit.

Me: How do you know?

Kid: They just do. Let's go.

Me: No way. I want to see them on. (Extending arm and pointy index finger in general direction of dressing room.)

Kid: You are impossible!! I tried them on over my jeans and I didn't even have to button them to know that they fit.

Me: What? Are you insane? You can't try them on over your clothes? (Getting shrill!) I bet you didn't even take your shoes off! What did you do? GO in there, count to 500 and come back out?!?!?

Kid: Whatever! I'll show you that they fit. (Grabs shorts and stomps into dressing room with me in hot pursuit.) Um, oh, ya, they don't fit do they? Can you get me another size?

Me: ARGH. (Sweetly) Sure.


Sparky ♥ ∞ said...

That was so funny! I did the same thing to my parents. [roflol]

JBA said...

Sparky, Did you count to 500? Kids, really, I'm not sure where they come from. Mars.

Hope you're enjoying your trip!

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said... cats don't sass me like that when I dress them up! But maybe that's why they pee outside the box later...

Anonymous said...

You kill me! Did you ever see the Roseanne episode where she embarrassed her daughter at the mall so that the daughter would understand how she made her mother feel? Your life is like a sit-com!!!

JBA said...

Teri, poor kitties. They come with natural sweaters!

Audrey, if this is a sit-com that might explain the voices in my head. Or not!

bernthis said...

oh, you poor thing. I would have lost my mind. "you can just return them". Yep, sounds like "kid talk" to me.

Kraxpelax said...

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Rising from my Ashes said...

That was so funny. Mars?

Eskimo Bob said...

That was great!