Several days ago, the doorbell rang.DING! DING! DING!
Opening the door, I found no one there. Though, I felt something underfoot. Something was amiss. A light breeze twisted the ends of my wet hair. Andrew called from the house, "Close the door! It's cold."
We didn't know it at the time, but a day or two later we met our Invader, the Marauder, the Illness Packed Microbe that would wreck schedules, blow through 4 boxes of Kleenex and no one remembers how much 7Up, Jello or toast. The Menace, as I'd like to call it, has been here for a week and it's high time The Menace took off.
Me: Get Out.
Menace: (Evil Laughter)
Me: No really, get out. I'm out of Lysol. I give up. Get Out.
Menace: (More Evil Laughter)
Me: Listen, you've wiped out three of us. I don't think the big guy is going to fall. Didn't you notice he came home with a surgical mask and gloves? Besides, the neighbors have like 9 kids, try them instead. Wouldn't that be more fun?
Menace: I'm thinking. Do you have any dirty Kleenex left? You picked everything up.
Me: (Evil Laughter)
Menace: No really, what's with the bucket of soapy water? And the laundry? You never voluntarily strip beds.
Me: Who said it was voluntary. Are you interested in my bucket? It's warm. Don't microbes like warm, wet places?
Menace: That does sound nice. Your family runs around in their underwear. That's not very warm, but that bucket looks like a spa.
Me: It is nice.
Menace: KERSPLOOSH!
Me: It's Bleach! Die you rotten thing! Die!
In my brain, this is how to conquer the flu. Perhaps I'm still feverish.
The End.
3 comments:
That is great! I am telling you, we have been fighting that nasty flu bug for a couple of months, simply passing it from one to the other. And I had the flu shot!!! Wasn't supposed to get the damn bug! Aaargh!
Hope you are all done with it now. And....hope your neighbors don't get it!
Ah HA! That's why you want to share your rain. You're sending The Menace too. I'm on to ya. [giggle] OMGoodness, keep that nasty Menace up there please. But that explains why you've been silent of late. Poor kid. Lay around and watch a lot of DVD's, drink hot tea until you're better. I've been lucky and escaped the flu for years. [knock on wood, my head]
Your post was really funny. It's amazing how can you be so creative whilst pucking into a bucket. So, here's hoping you're better soon. ♥ ∞
Audrey, we had the flu shots too! And the Tamiflu they gave us didn't work at all. Blast it all!
Sparky, you are correct. I was in bed until late this afternoon. I even had to cancel a business trip that I was really looking forward to, but I was too sick to even think about driving. Blech!
So Sparky, I swear I won't send you poison rain! ;)
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