Yes, we're home alone. I vacillate between my thirteen year old (Omigosh I've been left home alone self) and my older (doesn't matter how much older, but it's nowhere near 40, ahem) more responsible self.
13year old me: Whoo Hoo! I am inviting over my friends and watching whatever I want on TV while simultaneously bouncing on the couch, talking to someone on the phone, drinking pop in the room with the white carpet, and wearing red lipstick. Awesome!
Regular me: Huh?
So here we are, sitting around in our underwear, blowing off our friends, watching basketball and drinking gin & tonics. Where are they, you ask? Where are the lovelies? Did you send them to the military school down the road? Guam? A detention center?
ON VACATION WITH THEIR GRANDPARENTS FOR A WEEK!
(Cue Beastie Boys "Fight for your right to Party", dance like a wacko in the kitchen and eat the sushi that you don't have to share with anyone but the spouse.)
I won't bounce on my furniture since I know what I paid for it but I might:
- Eat all the raisin toast and Lucky Charms without being accosted.
- Forget how to do laundry, except for my own which is kind of overdue.
- Read a book
- Research my book "52 weeks, 52 Martinis: Essays on Twin Parenting"
- Do my Snoopy happy dance
- Wait for the phone to ring- why haven't they called all day?
- Sleep with their stuffed animals
Those last two were pathetic.
My 13 year old self is telling me to paint my toe nails bright blue and make some nachos. Talk at ya later!