- Wearing rainbow embroidered gauchos in 3rd grade. (What is a gaucho anyway? Oddly reminiscent of the "slanket" but real clothing worn that should be forgotten. Someone at work asked what you would call a blanket with a hole in it for your head. A poncho, of course, but "Blancho" sounds much cooler. I should totally sell these on line. Want one?)
- Recycling. (How can this be? It is so good for the planet! True, dear reader, but hard to explain to the kids who have been indoctrinated by the 3rd generation of Nancy Reagan "Just Say No" officers. It's hard to dodge the following week after week "Hey Mom, the bin looks like you had a really big party, but no one's been here." At least no one you know about, my very observant child. And no, there's no reason to tell your school counselor.)
- This conversation... ("Mom, you swear a lot." "What the H8!!, no I don't." "Yes you do. What's going to happen when I come home when I'm in my 30's, Mom? I'll swear and you'll still try to smack me." Nice. )
- Another conversation... ("Mom I need some birthday candles." "In the cabinet." Time passes.... "STOP LIGHTING FIRES ON THE DECK, YOU WILL BURN THE HOUSE DOWN." "It's OK Mom, I'm taking these candles, some matches and my knife with me on the Scout camp out to the nuclear power plant." )
- Teaching critical thinking skills to my children. (Emphasis on CRITICAL. My parents joined us for a weekend a while back and were amazed by the spectacle that two 12 year olds and their father can create while discussing Greek City States. Seriously, it got ugly and resulted in Tim actually pulling out a college text book to prove his point. My parents laughed at me, for hours, whilst I drank.)
- Wednesday night's margarita. (They served in a glass the size of the bucket I use to wash my car. Should have been my first, freaking clue.)
- The animal cracker I dropped in my toaster.
- Henry Van Hellen. Where art thou, Henry?
Haunted and it's not even close to Halloween...